Updated: Jun 22, 2020
It’s June. But that’s almost irrelevant. Time is now only measured in banana breads - “it’s been 3 banana breads since my last haircut”.
Despite the majority of life now being virtual, the emotional rollercoaster of lockdown is real. We’re looking for the silver linings in the dark COVID cloud. Our business has been closed since before the lockdown, when we took the decision not to put ourselves and customers at risk. At present we don't know when it will be safe to open again.
However, before you read on, we want to acknowledge that our experience has been incredibly lucky and privileged. While some of our family and friends are key workers, everyone is safe, and healthy to date, and everyone is lucky enough to be able to eat, and keep a roof over their heads. We know that is not the awful reality for a lot of people.
Talking about these lighthearted snapshots won’t change the impacts of the pandemic. But along the way, these moments have provided us with a little bit of much needed joy.
Here are our favourite oddities, quirks, and funny moments from lockdown life so far.
1. Mama fights back
Lockdown has given Mother Nature some respite from the virus that is human beings. One of our favourite things so far was when things got Gaian! The pictures of herds of wild goats taking over the deserted streets of Llandudno made our Blursday.
2. Frock Up Fridays
What started as another one of those quirky Facebook groups, turned into the raddest support network. You know those Facebook groups we mean.... There’s ‘Accidental Renaissance Paintings’ for cultured Facebookery, ‘Altered Urbex’ for that edgy new hobby you’ll always be too frightened to take up, ‘What Broke Vegans Eat’ for all those recipes you’ll never be bothered to make, and of course ‘ TK Maxx Gallery of Horrors’, because...well...UNDER HIS CLAW!
Anyway….my new favourite group is Frock Up Friday. ‘ FUF’ started as a way to cheer us all up once a week while unable to go out. But as people began to share pictures of themselves dressed up, they also shared their stories. From dealing with lockdown divorces and re-emerging exes, family bereavement, support worker struggles, to general feelings of isolation and low self esteem. Cautiously expressed stories and pictures were met with positive support, love and encouragement. A wonderful celebration of individuality, self-expression, body positivity, agelessism, and non-binary fabulousness.
3. Banana Bread
Fecking Bananabread. The epitome of a very privileged quarantine experience. Boredom, optimism, expectation, mashing bananas, disappointment, gluttony, and guilt. Repeat.
4. Quarranmeme Virtual Life
Do you know your Tentin Quarrantino, from your Quarrantina Turner? Do you have Cardi-B Corrrronnaviiirus Tourettes? Did you know, Chuck Norris has been exposed to Covid19? (The virus is now in quarantine for 14 days).
We’ve had some japes eh? All the amusing and useless information we’re mainlining at the moment, has kept us going and connected us. But once quarantine started, it also became clear just how much of a mass of clones we are, all living similar meme and video based experience. After being convinced that my new knowledge on how to fold cereal boxed closed would change my life, I walked through to the kitchen towards box-virnana, only to find my wife had already folded the shit out of my cereal dreams having watched the exact same video.
Charlie Watts Air Drumming for Together at Home
Seems like a lifetime ago now, but on 18th April 2020 Global Citizen brought us that virtual concert in support of the UN and the World Health Organization (WHO) COVID-19 response. The broadcast included global health experts alongside performances by musicians. As with many similar events, certain stars are rolled out whether you like it or not bless them. A big part of the fun was seeing how stars managed with no autotune, sound engineering, and general background jazz. By far my favourite was The Rolling Stones. After covering all the basic concerns such as “Does Keith Richards know what’s even going on?” and “Are we sure Keith Richards is ok?”, the only thing left to worry about was “What the hell? Is Charlie Watts just pretending to play the drums?”
Yep, multi-millionaire and lifelong drummer Charlie, happily air drummed his way through the performance with a collection of boxes in front of him. Apparently he doesn’t have a drum kit in his house as his wife doesn’t like the noise. Classic Covid-Moment.
6. Tik-King Tiger-Tok
Tiger King has become synonymous with the lockdown experience. The hype came so early on in lockdown, we’ll need a ceremonial re-watch, in order to mark the end of lockdown. But just as you thought you’d had the best of it, along comes the tidal wave of after-meme, in perfect tandem with the upsurge in TikTok.
‘Savage’ by Meg Thee Stallion? Never heard of it.
That Carol Baskin Tik-Tok Song? Yep, know it, love it, burned it into my brain.
The 7 times table I learnt by rote as a child has been permanently erased. Replaced by videos of four of my favourite celebrities, and ten complete strangers dressed as Joe Exotic dancing around. They snackin’.
7. My new Patronising Podcast Persona
One thing I’ve really loved getting into again during lockdown has been podcasts. A customer recommended ‘My Favourite Murder’ to me well over a year ago. I'm late to the podcast party, but finally, lockdown gave me the chance to roam free in podcast-land. And wow do I feel well informed! Life has so many different dimensions now I’m a smug podcast listener. I’m currently sitting watching the SpaceX Nasa launch, bolstered by background knowledge from Joe Rogan’s Elon Musk interview, and a BBC Sounds ‘CrowdScience’ podcast ‘Do we need more Space Stations?’. Feeling superior as heck.
8. Eavesdropping on your neighbours
We’re very lucky to have had access to a garden during lockdown. Second only to sunbathing next to the strong smell of dog-pee, our new favourite pastime has been earwigging on neighbours. A constant source of entertainment and parody has been an insufferable 30-something male trapped in isolation with his elderly parents, arguing with another family member called Jenny (we can’t actually see them).
The man’s daily garden fitness routine means that we’ve been subjected to prolonged periods of unnecessary grunting over the fence. Payback came with the realisation that ‘Jenny’ is on a secret mission to mess with the guy in small and unrelenting ways. Some recent highlights:
“Jenny?! Jenny?! Have you turned the oven off Jenny?”
“Yeah? When? Oh the oven? Yeah. We have to do that for safety!”
“I was actually cooking something in there Jenny. Can we not do that please Jenny”.
“Jenny?! Have you mixed up the Earl Grey Tea Bags with the normal ones Jenny?”
“Oh yeah. We have to do it. Otherwise, they will go off”.
“Can we not do this please Jenny? It’s really important that I can tell between the different tea bags please Jenny”.
And that’s our run-down! A personal snapshot from us to you. What’s been your favourite, or funny moments from your own lockdown experience? Let us know - it’s not like there’s owt else to do, is there?